Gold trail

On the trail of eternity

I am Lilith, the dark virgin (free text)

By on 30 September 2022

I am Lilith, the dark virgin

"I am Lilith" - this emotionally charged text makes the energy and magic of the dark maiden tangible. She is rooted in the shadow of existence, mythologically speaking in the underworld.


Why on earth should one deal with such abysses of existence at all?
The answer is: what comes to light, we ourselves light or in other words: healing happens by bringing the painful to the light of consciousness. This is how humanity can heal and paradise can be regained.

[For background and explanations of this text, see: Lilith: disturbing femininity and the power of women].

Lilith in the Jewish tradition: Adam's first wife

Adam wanted to sleep with Lilith and said: "You must be below, because you are the receiving earth. I am above, for I am the seed-giving heaven!"

Lilith replied, "Why do I have to lie down?! Aren't you made of earth just like me? But Adam pushed her to the ground. When Lilith saw that Adam overpowered her, she uttered the unspeakable name of God, wished for wings and flew to the Red Sea. There she copulated with a demon, Samael. Lilith is said to be responsible for the night dreams of many men and the death of newborns.

Symbols and interpretations of the underlined words
  • Lilith: daughter of the wind (from LIL = air and ITU= dark: "dark wind")
  • EARTH: the feminine as living matter, the earth the symbol for the female body (s. The four elements, meaning). But the woman as virgin starts "in heaven" (in the realm of the spirit, in pure love). Through the first sexual intercourse she is "initiated" and becomes the "goddess of the earth". The son - Adam is born out of the body of the woman (EARTH) (adama: "out of earth").
  • Heaven: the realm of the spirit, air, the symbol of the masculine soul. In fact, the wind (the AIR) carries seeds across the land, which can fall into the earth and bear fruit.
  • Pushing to the ground: violence, rape
The great mother and the underworld: pain and death
  • The unpronounceable name of God: Unspoken and disappeared since Babylon is the female side of God, the mother, ... the raped mother in the underworld, once NIN-LIL (goddess of air), later on ERESH-KI-GAL (Mistress of the Underworld).
  • The wings: because of the rape, she has become the spirit. Because she has lost her anchorage in the body and has "tilted" into the spirit, so that she lives power instead.
  • The sea: symbol for the collective unconscious (s. Water, female).
  • The Red Sea: blood, pain, rage and anger in the collective feminine (see The Pain Body).
  • Demon: shadow, not integrated masculinity (of the woman), that means negative masculinity, aggression, dominance, power (see. The negative animus as devil or pain body).
  • Samael: Probably in reference to the god and "sky bull" Sha-M-Ash from the Gilgamesh epic, who in the first phase represents the unbridled wild drive and thus the negative animus (see The Sky Bull and The Bull as Female Symbol).
  • Death of many newborns - illegitimate children

I am Lilith

Flawless beauty

I am beautiful! My skin is white like snow, my long curly hair is red like the earth. My eyes are green like a glacial lake. My body is flawless. No man can resist me. Certainly, I know how to use my feminine power. As a woman, you either have to get down - or you take what you want.

Never like mother - I am Lilith!

At that time I got to see how mother NinLil cowered before father EnLil. She was so beautiful, tender and gentle - and of course she loved him. She was the goddess of air, she wanted to fulfill his every wish. But he left her neither space nor time. He took her, did violence to her whenever he wanted.

From heaven to the underworld

The other gods noticed this and decided to send Enlil to the underworld as punishment. There he should go into himself, face his shadows. But NinLil followed him there - out of love! No wonder, she had given herself to him with her whole life, ... had no life of her own ... To lose him would mean to die. (1)

Enlil-Marduk to the highest god

But while NinLil fell into oblivion, En-Lil continued to be worshipped on earth and was thus able to return to the heaven of the gods, where he even ascended to the highest god. EnLil-Marduk celebrated youthful, stormy macho masculinity and now established a new world order: the order of power. (2)

He left NinLil alone in the underworld. Thereupon, the gods assigned her this realm as her domain. She became NinLil, the goddess of heaven, to NinGal, the goddess of the underworld, or to EreshKiGal the ruler of the land under the earth. (3)

The spirit of power

But not with me! I am powerful! I rule the spiritual and the virtual world. My power has already come to full bloom in Babylon and has stretched over the Jewish history up to over Rome. On the seven hills was my palace! But my greatest triumph is still to come: According to the Revelation of the Bible, I will ride, clothed in gold and precious stones, on the greatest beast the world has ever seen! Yes, I am the emblem of every worldly power and my illusions are carried by the military and warlike assertiveness of the state power! (19)

Daddy's princess - "licking" the female essence

But back to the beginnings. It began already at that time, in Sumer or more exactly in Akkad. There I, Lilith, was Papa EnLil's little daughter and his favorite from an early age. He adored me and I quickly learned how to behave in order to get everything from him. I crawled on his lap ... Then a blink of an eye, the cute little pout, a favorable pose ... It always worked! (4)

The dark side of the moon

If the woman is the goddess of the moon, then I stand for his dark side. I whistle for the light of the sun - as a male symbol! - That is the lot of the woman in this world: The only light they were allowed to have is the reflection of the men ... (5 and 6)

The moon is white-black. - And so men want to see us women: either white as virgin immaculate goddess or black, as whore! Strong women, however, they have defamed again and again as monsters or persecuted and exterminated as witches! (7 and 8)

Lilith's power

But not with me! I have both, am both flawless and exceedingly powerful!

Has anyone said that men should be light? - like the sun??? Such a nonsense! Limited, one-dimensional, linear and predictable they are and they always want only one thing! Sex! Thereby they unscrupulously take what they can, - if they can, that is, if they have power ...

Adam means "from earth". That says it all: men are wretched materialists, fixated on bodies and matter. (4)

- And this is where my power comes in.

You want sex? I can give sex, - maybe ... if I want ... But that has a price! - And I set the price.

The Queen of the Night

I am as old as mankind itself, the queen of the night!
The night and the dark are my domain, because I rule in the unconscious, in the area of the body and the drives. (9)

Curse and death

But I do not want to hide the dark side, the sad truth from you.
I, too, was raped when I was still almost a child...
Then I called out the unspeakable name of God: MOTHER!

She, the great Mother-Goddess, disappeared from people's consciousness, banished to the underworld... I didn't fare any better than her! The same happened to me!

This is the sad inheritance I received from my mother and which I also pass on to my daughter, the lot of woman: curse and death! (10)

The Red Sea

So what should I do with my body that had been taken from me? I left it, withdrew inwardly from it and withdrew into a spiritual world, into my own world. It is said that Lilith flew ... to the "Red Sea" -,

Yes! For Ti-Amat, the virgin of life, wept a sea of salty tears, and so became the angry dragon of the seas, yes, a sea red as blood... For womanhood must always bleed for the life of others! (11)

- And my daughter ... I don't need to tell you - do I?

Lilith - Inanna / Eve

Inanna is my daughter! She is better known as Eve ... Adam's second wife!
So then also the second creation in the Bible is to be understood: "God", namely EnLil, the evil god of the air, "built" Eve - from a "rib" which was surrounded with "flesh". What is that supposed to be??? It is of course an image for the male member. And so he "created" then the "new" woman, who pleased him, namely made docile by force for sex according to his ideas and cheered: "Finally flesh from his flesh!". (12)

The lost paradise

And so that you finally wake up and understand what is matter and what the traditions tell us for a long time: This means nothing else than ...
The first rape happened in paradise!
And that is logically also the reason why the paradise, that is the unity and security of the people, was lost. (13)

No wonder, men since then try to cover it up and rewrite it with hard to understand images, while instead blaming the woman as a "snake"!

And so the sad reality arose that the woman has to be used as scapegoat - again and again ...! In this way, the woman is devalued, separated from her love and brought down, destroying her innocence and her life. And after that she is thrown away and on top of that she is denigrated as a whore. (14)

But this calculation does not work!

The serpent: man's inner woman as a whore

When the tradition says that Lilith is the serpent that "seduced" Eve, it means, of course, the serpent in the man, the cunning that he used to impose his drive. He seduced her, "Come on, what's the big deal ..."! (13)

It's his own fault if he can't control himself. - And this is where my power comes in.

My magic

Men may have physical and material superiority, but my power is greater! I have the magic! (15)
- And that is why men love me, hate me and fear me. They call me "dark virgin" because they cannot control me and are afraid of my power. Rightly so! In my hand they are like wax, defenseless like hypnotized rabbits. - All men are the same, they are weak at heart. I despise them!

Spiritual power

Yes, I am a ghost!
Is that supposed to mean that I am not alive? Of course I am alive! I am eternally young, eternally beautiful! And no one can harm me. Isn't that life? - That's what every woman wants!

Lilith lives in many places and in many forms, in many people, in many women and men! (7)

Revenge is sweet

And yes, I am powerful! I dwell in every abused and raped woman - and there are many - exceedingly many!!! (16)
So I give every woman power over men by inspiring their fantasies. The pictures go in with them fast ... I must give also nothing from me, it runs off with them the same. In their dreams I show myself to them as the perfect sex object, that is enough, already the thing is eaten - in the truest sense of the word, that is the real apple! (10) - But they don't become full thereby, but even hungrier, even more dependent ... 

This is my vengeance on Adam and his descendants! (17)

Of course, there are always problems when such a young woman gets pregnant! In former times this was a shame! So out of desperation many a newborn was eliminated ... - But is that my fault?! It is the morality, again created by men, which is the cause of this desperate act! -
Fortunately, today there are contraceptives.

The apple does not fall far from the tree.

Certainly, my daughter is made of the same wood as I am! - And just as I carry my mother's suffering in my body, she carries the suffering of her mother and grandmother in her body.

Then, is it my fault? The mother always dwells and lives on in her daughter, because the daughter was born from the mother's body.
And life dwells in every human being... So life goes on - and so does the curse -.

This is the great original sin ...! (18)


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