Inanna and Lilith - the tree and power as a modern narrative:
Yesterday I had watched the movie "Maleficent, the Dark Fairy". And tonight I had a dream that scared me:
The snake in the tree
I saw a young woman walking through a garden. She came to a tree with strange, scary creatures: A huge snake dwelled in the roots. My heart almost stopped when I saw its cold, hypnotic look. Then there was a rustling in the lower hanging branches and behind it a woman peered out - from a hole in the trunk! She was beautiful, but pale as death. Her red hair fell down over the trunk and her poison-green eyes shone.
Inanna and Lilith: a first encounter
She spoke with a purring voice:
- Hello little princess, how are you doing?
- W ... who are you???, I heard the young woman ask, startled.
In reply came a rasping voice:
- Call me what you will! - I am the 13th fairy! I am Lilith! I am you ...!
The lion eagle
She laughed shrilly and looked up. Her laughter turned into a screech that sounded from the tree top. It was the cry of a huge bird, it had wings like an eagle spreading above the branches! But instead of a beak, it had the head of a lion with a huge maw! He had built a nest in the crown and there were already squawking young sitting in it, I don't know how many!!!!
Fear of growing up
Drenched in sweat, I awoke from the dream, totally agitated, while the shrill laughter and screeching still sounded in my ears. Impossible to fall asleep again!
I don't understand what this means...
Sometimes I want to crawl away...
Sometimes I'm afraid.
Abuse as a collective reality - the body of pain
I am afraid of growing up - and afraid of sexuality.
How should I deal with it?
It does not escape me that men begin to look at me ... with admiring glances ... Sometimes they also compliment me ...
Power and powerlessness of women
It seems that a beautiful woman can have everything from men.
No wonder, women do everything to be and stay beautiful and desired. But often they are also hard - and frustrated, I think.
In any case, my mother is always very hard on me, I think.
If you are too strong as a woman, it scares men off, or so it seems to me. They take more pleasure in young women like me ... I feel their attention when they notice me. Some try to flirt with me, some make insinuating remarks ... I have also been touched by one - in a way ... I don't know - just disgusting!
Power as a collective reality and curse
Ultimately, adults are always about sex, money and power. They want power and more and more power...
I don't want that, I don't want to be like them....
In the intoxication of power
On the one hand, I'm not entirely comfortable with all this, but on the other hand, deep down it's also an exhilarating feeling. Because it's a bit exciting to grow up and suddenly be part of the game.
I keep thinking about Gilbert ...
- The other day at the party, when we danced together, he hugged me tightly ...
At the same time I felt unfamiliar, strong feelings ... Yes, still when I think about it ...
Then I get all mixed up.
Am I in love?