Anna and Gil
Lately, I've been dreaming a lot. One of the dreams was like this:
The big brother
There was a snake that had lined up next to my bed and was spitting at me. I got up, went to my brother Udo and said:
- I have a snake in my room - help me! Make it go away!
Udo went upstairs and came back with a flower pot. In the earth was the snake, it was now very small and sleepy ... strange ...
Back in the garden
And the next night in a dream I was again in that garden with the tree and the terrible creatures:
Dhere again was the woman walking through the garden. But now a big strong man, a real hero in shining armor, was at her side. Muscular and fierce he looked, with shoulder-length hair.
Help from the strong hero: the felling of the tree
He was obviously a warrior, for he wore strong, shining armor and a massive axe on his shoulder.
Without hesitation, he went straight for the tree and then ... blow after blow ... he slashed at the tree. The tree swayed.
Lilith, the woman with the green eyes in the trunk, looked out in horror and hissed at the woman:
-. You yourself are responsible for this!
Furious, she lashed out and smashed her house before making a run for it.
The lion eagle also screeched loudly. He drew a few more circles in the air, gathered his plump, fluttering young, and was gone.
Boom! The tree fell!
The snake now looked out from the roots. It was huge and its eyes ... Again I almost felt sick when I looked into the slits of its poison-green eyes. I thought: Now the warrior will drop the axe ... And he did: He dropped his heavy axe ... a thunderclap! - on the head of the snake! The head of the monster was off! Then the hero loosened the roots of the tree with his axe, and other young men joined him, who also cut branches.
Wedding
Next I saw the woman in a bright, shimmering dress sitting on a chair or better on a kind of throne made of black, shiny wood. It was elevated with powerful armrests. The hero stood before her in a crimson cloak. She raised her arms and solemnly handed him a braided ring from the branches and a curved staff from the roots. The staff and the ring were connected by a red and blue ribbon. Then she knelt down before the hero...
Next to it stood a bed - also made of the same black, shiny wood.
It was a special ... a sacred atmosphere.
***
The big brother
I awoke still feeling intoxicated by the dream.
Later, in the afternoon, I received a phone from Gil. Since the party, we had started seeing each other.
This had not escaped my brother Udo. He came to my room to talk to me privately, as he said:
- I noticed that you are in contact with this Gil. You've been seen with him. You're seeing him a bit much - too much ... for my taste! - Somehow I don't trust this guy ...
That's when I got mad at him:
- Are you snooping on me now?! You know what?! I'm not interested in your opinion! Did mom put you on me as a nanny, or what? And anyway, how can you say that?! You don't even know Gil!
Even before he could answer, I drove at him:
- And anyway: I CAN TAKE VERY GOOD CARE OF MYSELF! You look after yourself and your affairs.
With that, I left the room and slammed the door behind me.
The strong hero
A few days later, Gil invited me to his home. First he served us a Prosecco. I was impressed by his beautiful apartment with a view over the city and was especially impressed by him! He was so charming and accommodating. Moreover, he had cooked heavenly for me, opened a good wine. We ate, laughed, had a good chat.
I could talk to him about everything that was bothering me:
- Mom is annoying. I think she's frustrated and always has to take her frustration out on me. And she always wants to be the prettiest - and sexy, too. I find it a bit embarrassing that she still has ambitions at her age, it seems.
She also has a new boyfriend now, and he annoys me. He keeps trying to grope me. Luckily he's not with us that much. - But that he really works that hard... somehow I don't believe it. I don't even want to know what else he does to pass the time! - I never knew my father. Mom says he died during a mountain hike. That was a long time ago, she says, and then changes the subject.
That's probably why Udo thinks he has to play father-substitute. He is Mama's favorite. With him, she lets everything pass, she trusts him with everything!
Gil had his honey-brown eyes fixed on me, listening with interest and nodding affirmatively. I had the feeling that he understood me.
The felling of the tree
After dinner, I was already quite tipsy, so he dished up another whiskey. We sat on the sofa, ate chocolate and listened to music ... Gil came closer and closer. He put his arm around me, kissed me - intoxicating. Already his hand was on my thigh. I felt dizzy.
- You are simply stunning!, he breathed in my ear: I have never met a woman like you! You are a goddess! Do you know that?
In the intoxication of magic
My body responded to him, it was like a fire, it was magic! He began to tamper with my blouse ... and then ... with deft hands ... on and on ... He was unstoppable! I tentatively tried to resist, but he said in a hoarse voice:
- Come on! Don't make such a fuss. You want it too ... you're a real woman ... and what a woman! You're driving me crazy!
Then he penetrated me ... And suddenly it was all over. He helped me back into my clothes:
- I'm taking you home now! he said quickly: It's already late.
The hangover after intoxication
Indeed! It was already almost twelve o'clock! Udo was still up. He seemed annoyed:
- So late?? Where have you been?! -
- None of your business!, I hissed at him and disappeared into my room.
When I called Gil the next day, I couldn't reach him. The next day, I finally got him on the phone. He seemed far away, was talking a lot and said that he was completely stressed out at the moment, - on business, as he pointed out.
I was shocked, because he was like the other way around, short-tempered and absent, not to say dismissive. He quickly ended the conversation by saying that he had no time to talk now. I was perplexed.
He also answered my text message only briefly: He would contact me as soon as he had more air. - What does that mean?
I was deeply insecure. Should I contact him? Days went by that seemed like an eternity. I was angry and more and more disappointed!
Treason!
After a few weeks, Udo spoke to me again:
- Well, how's it going with Gil?, he wanted to know.
Without waiting for my answer, he continued:
- I heard him bragging about his women's stories the other day, your name came up as well ...
He looked at me inquiringly. I blushed and hissed at him:
- Mind your own business! He raised his eyebrows:
- Oh well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, he said and shrugged his shoulders.
How am I supposed to understand that? Was that supposed to be a reference to Mom? Her relationships with men ...? - I'm certainly not like YOU!
A little later I met Gil by chance in the evening in the exit - with another! I grabbed him and confronted him. At first he shirked:
- Aach, she's just a colleague ... But then he added: - But while we're at it ... Listen! We had it really cool together ... But I'm not up for a steady relationship!
Disappointment
It was as if the floor was pulled out from under my feet.
I am disappointed! Gil has disappointed me so much!!!
He now goes full on macho. The women are totally into him, he must have noticed that, yes, they adore him! - They literally throw themselves at his feet. Of course, he can not resist ...
But I feel like shit... I feel cheated, yes, screwed! Such a coward! Such an immature blockhead and inconsiderate egotist!!! It's not ok at all how he dealt with me!
Late insight
But I have only myself to blame! If only I had listened to Udo!
What am I supposed to do now?? - I need to talk to someone, to someone who can help me, who can perhaps also set Gil's head straight ...
Enrico, Mom's brother, comes to mind. He works as a therapist, I think. - And he's Gil's godfather, if I'm not mistaken. I want to get in touch with him.